Women of Faith

I went to the Women of Faith Conference in San Jose with my mom this last weekend. It was a much needed time away for me. I have been so stressed the past couple of months with all the changes our family has gone through. I was looking forward to a nice relaxing time away with my mom and 14,000 other women. We stayed in a hotel not too far from the Arena. It had free breakfast which made up for the $30 we paid for parking at the Arena.
We went hiking….up the gazillion stairs to the top where our seats were (because we waited so long to get our tickets). We were so high up, that even though I’m not really afraid of heights, my body still thought it was nauseating to lean forward as I put my water down on the floor. As I stood back up I became anxiously aware of the fact that too much weight leaning the wrong way…and I could end up in the front row on some poor lady’s lap!
I chose to worship sitting down, mostly.

Because my mom and I have been going to these conferences for several years now, I look forward to each of the speakers sharing their latest stories and messages as if we were old friends sitting around a kitchen table drinking hot chocolate, laughing and crying and sharing things that matter. These women are very dear to my heart. Each one always touches something deep inside of me, as they share of themselves and their life experiences. Pasty shares about her agoraphobia and I can relate. She understands the fear and how it steals the joy right out from under you. She knows that when you’re afraid, you don’t know what you enjoy because you can’t think past your fear. She understands that you miss out on things, because you are afraid. But she has lived through it and made it and she knows that just outside your fear is LIBERTY! Patsy encouraged us to “LIVE LIVELY”.
Nicole is a wonderful dramatist. She opened up by telling us how, “Men look at what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Women look at what’s in the bed and go to the fridge”! Too funny! Nicole shared her insights about Mary and Martha. One of the things that caught my attention was when she said that you can be so busy comparing and controlling, you might not recognize the best when it’s sitting in front of your face. For me, this plays right in to the fear that Patsy talked about. Nicole does 3 different dramatizations through-out the conference. She also talked about cutting and later about Judas’ kiss and betrayal. They are always really good and make you think beyond the surface.

Sheila’s son Christian and my daughter Jade are about the same age so it has been fun to hear the stories of him growing up. She has such passion for the Lord and for all of us women. Sheila sang “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and it was incredible. And she sang it incredibly with laryngitis. She then talked about how God has a dream for your life. God’s dream is so much more different than the American dream. God’s dream is that we would be FREE! Freedom is not the absence of bars, it’s the presence of Christ. Freedom is inside and it’s not dependent on our circumstances. Gee, nothing for me to learn from her! lol!

Anita Renfroe was there again and hilarious as ever. She performed her recent song, “Total Momsense” as well as “You Lift Me Up” and “Don’t Breathe” Extremely Funny! She shared the message that it is OK to play in His (God’s) presence. She reminded me that Joy will return…just like it says in the Bible…Joy comes in the morning.

Carol Kent was new to me. Her son is currently serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole, for the murder of his wife’s ex. Not an easy thing to accept…that your only child will never be able to come home for Christmas or go to a football game or the beach or the movies or church with you…ever! But there is proof that God does not abandon us and that He can use anyone…anywhere. Her son is now sharing Christ with others in the prison. Goes back to what Sheila said about Freedom not being the absence of bars, but the presence of Christ.

Sandi Patty sang several of the old hymns but all spiced up with her incredible voice! WOW! She has a powerful voice! A Mighty Fortress is Our God and How Great Thou Art! Amazing! One of the things I took away from her was…”When you get yourself in a bind and you’re gonna fall one way or another…if you fall backwards away from God, you’re gonna get hurt. If you fall forward, He (God) will be there to catch you in His arms of grace.”

Marilyn talked about closure. She shared stories about her husband Ken, who passed away, and of her daughter who was born with spina bifida and died. Though I have not experienced those two things, what she shared hit a deep cord with me, as I have experienced other things that have generated similar feelings and longings. She spoke the words that I have whispered for so long...

I can’t do this
The pain is overwhelming
My emotions will devour me
I will suffocate
Back away
Close up
Act as though everything is fine, even though shattered inside
Become like the dead sea, no outlet, dead
Finally
Release some toxins through my tears

Patsy shared...If you want to fully experience GOD then you must fully experience life.
In order to heal it you must feel it

It’s like the old song, “Going on a Bear Hunt”
You can’t go over it
You can’t go under it
You can’t go around it
You gotta go THROUGH it

Psalm 23:4a
Even when I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil….
The word “through” suggests a beginning, a middle and an end.
So it won't last forever, right?

Nicole C. Mullen performed. Another great voice! I think I’ll have Jim download her song “Freedom” for me. She brought some kids (ages like 10-15) to dance on stage with her. One of them was her daughter and another was her nephew Andrew. Andrew was the Oscar Meyer Weiner kid several years ago. He got up there and sang the Oscar Meyer Weiner song for us! He also had an incredible voice!

Luci wrapped up the conference sharing funny stories and encouraging us to just “show up” and God will do the rest. I love Luci because she is so REAL, so genuine, so down to earth. She’s not afraid to tell you that she gets “sick of the whole bloomin’ world” or that someone ticked her off. She said her favorite two word prayer is “Change Them”. She is FREE to be who she is……I love that! Luci said that Freedom starts in your heart and mind and then manifests itself in how we live. So I guess I need to start thinking like I’m FREE….Think and it will become eh?

It’s Monday and I wish I was back with those women. Not avoiding reality but just taking a break from it. It amazes me how there was a message for me from each of the women that spoke or sang, even from the ones I didn’t think I’d get anything from. Now to apply those things learned to my life…to just show up and let God do His thing.

I'm sure I will think of more but for now I will end with my return home...It was just after 11pm, the kids were all sleeping on the floor in the front room with Gidget playing in the background. I talked with Jim for a little while and fell asleep. In the early hours of the morning I heard the sweet voice of my son Isaac..."I pee'd". "What?" I asked. "I pee'd" he said with such a sad voice. I thought, he's in a diaper...maybe he's leaking...why else would he wake up upset over pee if he was wearing an absorbent diaper? Well, leaking was an understatement! Apparently he had changed into his swimsuit and pee'd all over the sleeping mat. Zack was sleeping next to him and rolled over into a puddle of pee. So I woke Jim up to deal with that and I cuddled a cold little boy, who was coughing like a barking seal. Poor little guy! So poor he got to sleep in mom and dad's bed! As much as I need a break, it sure is great to be home with my husband and kids!